Alice in Wonderland

Part One · Down the Rabbit Hole

On a drowsy summer afternoon, Alice sat on the bank of a river beside her older sister, who was reading a book without a single picture or conversation in it. Alice could not imagine the point of such a book. She was just wondering whether a daisy chain was worth the trouble of standing up, when a White Rabbit with pink eyes scurried right past her. Rabbits are ordinary enough. But this particular rabbit pulled a watch out of his waistcoat pocket, studied it anxiously, and cried, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!"

Alice jumped to her feet, because she had never before seen a rabbit with a pocket, or a watch to take out of it. Burning with curiosity, she raced across the field after him, and she was just in time to see him pop down an enormous rabbit hole under the hedge. A moment later Alice dived in after him, and she never once stopped to consider how she would climb out again. The hole continued straight ahead like a tunnel. Then it dipped so suddenly that Alice found herself tumbling down a very deep well.

The well must have been tremendously deep, or else Alice was floating down very gently, because she had plenty of time to look around and wonder what would happen next. The walls were lined with cupboards and bookshelves, with maps and pictures hanging on pegs. As she drifted past, she borrowed a jar from a shelf. It was labeled ORANGE MARMALADE, but to her great disappointment it was completely empty. "I must be getting near the middle of the earth!" she announced. Then, thump! She landed on a heap of sticks and dry leaves, without a single bruise, and the fall was over.

Alice found herself in a long, low hall that was lit by a row of lamps hanging from the roof. There were doors all around the hall, but every one of them was locked. On a little glass table lay a tiny golden key, and behind a curtain she discovered a little door no taller than a rabbit. The key fit perfectly. Through the doorway Alice could see the loveliest garden imaginable, full of brilliant flowers and cool fountains. But she could not even squeeze her head through. "Oh, how I wish I could fold up like a telescope," she sighed.

When she returned to the table, there was a little bottle on it that had certainly not been there before. Tied around its neck was a paper label with the words DRINK ME printed in large letters. Alice checked carefully that it was not marked "poison," and then she ventured to taste it. It was delicious, rather like cherry tart and roast turkey and hot buttered toast all mixed together, so she very soon finished it off. "What a curious feeling!" she exclaimed, as she shrank smaller and smaller, until she was only ten inches high.

Now she was exactly the right size for the little door, but unfortunately she had left the golden key on top of the table, far above her head. She attempted to climb a table leg, but it was much too slippery, so she sat down and cried. Then she noticed a small cake under the table, with the words EAT ME spelled out in currants. She ate it, and immediately she began to stretch out like an enormous telescope. "Curiouser and curiouser!" cried Alice, as her head bumped against the ceiling and the garden seemed farther away than ever.

Poor Alice cried such gigantic tears that they made a pool all around her feet. Then she picked up a fan the White Rabbit had dropped in his hurry, and without noticing, she began to shrink again. Splash! In another moment she was up to her chin in salt water, swimming in a pool of her own tears. A mouse paddled by, followed by a duck, a dodo, and a crowd of other peculiar creatures who had fallen in. Eventually they all scrambled out together onto the bank, dripping wet, extremely uncomfortable, and very cross.

Part Two · The Mad Tea Party

Alice wandered on through a forest until she came to a mushroom exactly as tall as herself. On top of it sat a large blue caterpillar with its arms folded, and it stared at her for a long time without saying a word. "Who are you?" it asked at last. "I hardly know, sir," Alice replied, "since I've changed size so many times today." The Caterpillar did not find this confusing at all. Before it crawled away, it informed her that one side of the mushroom would make her grow taller, and the other side would make her grow shorter.

Alice broke off a piece from each side and nibbled carefully until she was her proper size. Soon afterward, she noticed a wide grin floating among the branches of a tree, and gradually the rest of a large cat appeared around it. It was the Cheshire Cat. "Which way should I go from here?" Alice asked politely. "That depends on where you want to get to," said the Cat. "A Hatter lives in that direction, and a March Hare lives in this direction. Visit either one, because they're both mad." "But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat. "We're all mad here."

Then the Cat disappeared bit by bit, beginning with the tail and ending with the grin, which remained in the air for some time after the rest of it had vanished. Alice had often seen a cat without a grin, but never a grin without a cat! She continued walking until she reached a house with chimneys shaped like ears and a roof covered in fur. A long table had been set out under a tree in front of it, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea there, with a sleepy Dormouse squashed between them.

The table was a large one, but the three of them were crowded together at one corner. "No room! No room!" they cried when they noticed Alice approaching. "There's plenty of room!" said Alice indignantly, and she settled into a big armchair at one end. The Hatter stared at her for a long time. Then he asked, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Alice was delighted, because she loved riddles. But when she finally gave up and asked for the answer, the Hatter admitted, "I haven't the slightest idea." Neither had the March Hare.

The Hatter's watch told the day of the month but not the time, and it was running two days slow, because somebody had put butter in its works. The Hatter explained that it was always six o'clock at their table, so it was always teatime, and they never had time to wash the dishes in between. Instead they simply moved around the table to the next clean cups. The Dormouse began a long story about three sisters who lived at the bottom of a well, but it kept falling asleep in the middle. So the others tried to stuff it into the teapot.

"That's the silliest tea party I ever attended in all my life!" declared Alice, and she marched off into the wood. Soon she spotted a tree with a door in its trunk, and when she stepped inside, she was back in the long hall again. This time she was very careful. She picked up the golden key first. Then she nibbled her mushroom until she was the correct size, unlocked the little door, and walked through. At last she was standing in the beautiful garden, among the brilliant flowers and the cool fountains.

Part Three · The Queen of Hearts

Near the entrance stood a rose tree covered in white roses, and three gardeners were busily painting the roses red. The gardeners were as flat as playing cards, with arms and legs at the corners. "We planted a white tree by mistake," one of them whispered, "and if the Queen discovers it, it's off with our heads!" Just then came the sound of marching. Soldiers paraded in, every one of them a card, followed by the nervous White Rabbit, and last of all came the King and Queen of Hearts. The Queen glared at the roses and screamed, "Off with their heads!"

Alice hid the gardeners in a large flowerpot, and the soldiers marched away without finding them. "Can you play croquet?" roared the Queen. "Yes!" shouted Alice, and she joined the strangest game ever played. The balls were live hedgehogs, and the mallets were live flamingos. Whenever Alice managed to get her flamingo's neck straight, it twisted around to look at her with a puzzled expression. The hedgehogs kept wandering away, and the players all played at once, squabbling the entire time, while the Queen stamped about shouting "Off with his head!" or "Off with her head!" about once a minute.

Nobody was ever actually punished, because the King quietly forgave everyone. Then a cry rang out in the distance: "The trial is beginning!" Everyone hurried to a great hall, where the King sat as the judge, wearing his crown on top of his wig. The Knave of Hearts stood before him, accused of stealing some tarts the Queen had baked. The jury were twelve small animals scribbling on slates. The Hatter appeared as a witness, so nervous that he bit a piece out of his teacup, and Alice noticed with alarm that she was growing again.

None of the witnesses made any sense, and neither did the evidence. "Let the jury consider their verdict," said the King. "No, no!" said the Queen. "Sentence first, verdict afterward!" "Stuff and nonsense!" said Alice loudly, because by now she had grown to her full size, and she was not the least bit afraid. "Hold your tongue!" said the Queen, turning purple. "I won't!" said Alice. "Off with her head!" shrieked the Queen, but nobody moved. "Who cares for you?" said Alice. "You're nothing but a pack of cards!"

At this the whole pack rose up into the air and came flying down upon her. Alice gave a little scream and tried to beat them off, and then she discovered that she was lying on the riverbank, with her head in her sister's lap. Her sister was gently brushing away some leaves that had fluttered down onto her face. "Wake up, Alice dear!" she said. "What a long sleep you've had!" "Oh, I've had such a curious dream!" said Alice, and she described the whole adventure, from the rabbit hole to the trial.

Then Alice ran home for her own tea, thinking what a wonderful dream it had been. Her sister remained by the river in the setting sun. She closed her eyes and almost believed that she was in Wonderland herself. She could nearly hear the White Rabbit hurrying by and the teacups rattling at the endless party. Then she imagined Alice grown up one day, with children of her own gathered around her. She felt certain that Alice would make their eyes bright with marvelous stories, and perhaps with this very dream.