Friends sometimes fight. Being friends does not mean you will never argue. Young children often argue over things. They may argue over who gets to use a toy, or when one friend refuses to share. Taking turns or agreeing to share can help friends who disagree. Everyone gets angry sometimes. Anger is a very strong feeling. But it does not usually last a long time.

When you are upset, you can pause and take slow, deep breaths. If a fight gets heated, you can take a break. Then you can talk again when you have cooled off. Taking a break to cool down is not a punishment. It helps you calm down before you talk again. Experts say not to call a friend names during an argument.

In a fair argument, both people get to say what is on their mind without being judged, mocked or insulted. Each person also gets to share feelings. Listening to your friend without cutting in helps. Your friend may just want to be heard. Do not try to get even with a friend, and do not dig up old problems.

Saying you are sorry is a good way to make up with a friend. A real apology starts with understanding how the other person feels. This is called empathy. Empathy means understanding and sharing what another person feels. An apology is more than saying the words. It is about repairing the connection with the other person.

Saying sorry means taking responsibility for what you did, even if it was an accident. Saying sorry is a first step. Helping to make things better shows you care. Imagining the fight from your friend's side can help you let go of anger, apologize or compromise. Making up can be simple. Be kind to your friend and do something fun together. A fight with a friend does not have to be the end of the friendship.

Disagreeing can be a sign of a healthy friendship if people are respectful. Working through a fight can even make a friendship stronger. Getting good at making up takes time and practice. Using words to say how you feel helps people handle strong feelings. If a grown-up hurts you or makes you feel unsafe, tell another grown-up you trust. If the first one does not help, keep telling until someone does. A grown-up you trust can help.

Words to know

• empathy: understanding feelings
• apology: repairing connection
• responsibility: owning your actions

The short version

Friends sometimes fight, and being friends does not mean you will never argue. Saying you are sorry is a good way to make up with a friend. Making up can be simple. Be kind to your friend and do something fun together.

Quick facts

• Everyone gets angry sometimes, but anger does not usually last a long time.
• If a fight gets heated, a person can take a break and talk again when cooled off.
• A real apology starts with understanding how the other person feels.
• Saying sorry is a first step, and helping to make things better shows you care.
• A fight with a friend does not have to be the end of the friendship.