Peer pressure is the feeling of being pushed by friends or classmates to think, look or act a certain way. Your peers are people about your age. Peers can be close friends, or they can be other kids you know, like classmates and teammates. Teammates, classmates and close friends are all peers. Friends can influence what you choose to do, and you can influence them too.

One reason kids go along with friends is that they want to fit in. Some kids go along because they want to be liked. Other kids make their own choices while still listening to what friends say. Kids who feel unsure of themselves can find it harder to stand up for themselves, and feeling good about yourself helps.

Pressure can come from inside you, from wanting to belong, even when nobody asks you to do anything. Some pressure is about little things, like the music, shows or clothes friends like. Feeling pushed does not always come with words. Your wish to belong can be enough.

Kids who feel good about themselves can usually make a decision and stick with it, even when friends say otherwise.

Peer pressure can be a force for good, such as showing kids kind or hard-working role models. Friends can push you toward good things too, like being kind or working hard. So a push from a friend is not always a bad one. Some pressure helps. Look at what the push is toward, and decide if it is something you want to do.

Friends can pull you toward good things, like studying together, volunteering or playing sports. Friends can also help each other in kind ways, such as sharing, taking turns and speaking kindly.

Feeling uncomfortable about what a friend wants is a sign to stop and think, even if the friend seems fine with it. You can say "no thanks" to something you do not want to do. A short, simple line is enough to say no. "No thanks" is one line that works, and "I have to go" is another.

Practicing what you will say ahead of time helps you feel ready. Having one friend stand with you makes it easier for both of you to say no.

A secret code word with a parent is a way to ask for help and leave a spot without being embarrassed in front of friends. A parent or other adult can step in when peer pressure gets too hard for a kid to handle. Feeling pushed by friends can be hard, and a grown-up you trust can help when a friend's push feels hard to handle.

Feeling pushed by friends is a normal part of growing up, and nearly everyone has been in that spot. A parent or other adult can step in when a friend's push gets too hard to handle. A grown-up you trust can help.

Words to know

• peers: people your age
• influence: change a choice
• embarrassed: uncomfortable and self-conscious
• uncomfortable: feeling not right
• volunteering: helping for free