Peer pressure is the feeling of being pushed by friends or classmates to think, look or act a certain way. Your peers are people about your age, such as close friends, classmates and teammates. Friend groups usually form around things kids already share, like interests, sports, activities, classes or neighborhoods. Dressing like friends or liking the same music does not by itself mean a kid will do risky things. Much of what friends share is harmless.

One reason kids go along with friends is that they want to fit in. Some kids go along because they want to be liked, while others make their own choices and still listen to what friends say. Pressure can also come from inside a person, from wanting to belong, even when nobody asks that person to do anything. Feeling pushed by friends is a normal part of growing up, and nearly everyone has been in that spot.

Parents stay a big influence on kids' values and choices even when friends matter more and more. Your family's values can guide you when you are pushed to do something you are not comfortable with. Kids who have a strong sense of who they are can enjoy some things friends do and skip others.

Feeling uncomfortable about what a friend wants is a sign to stop and think, even if the friend seems fine with it. You can say "no thanks" to something you do not want to do. A short, simple line like "No thanks" or "I have to go" is enough to say no. Kids do not always know what to say, or how to say no and keep a friend.

Practicing the words at home helps. Practicing what you will say ahead of time helps you feel ready. Having one friend stand with you makes it easier for both of you to say no. A secret code word with a parent is a way to ask for help and leave a spot without being embarrassed in front of friends.

Kids who feel unsure of themselves can find it harder to stand up for themselves, and feeling good about yourself helps. Kids who feel good about themselves can usually make a decision and stick with it, even when friends say otherwise. Friends from many places, such as sports, clubs and family activities, give you more people to turn to if one friendship goes wrong.

Some pressure is about little things, like the music, shows or clothes friends like. Pressure can also be a force for good, such as showing kids kind or hard-working role models. Friends can push you toward being kind or working hard, and you can push them toward those things too. Friends can pull you toward good things, like studying together, volunteering or playing sports. Friends can help each other in kind ways, such as sharing, taking turns and speaking kindly.

A grown-up you trust can help when a friend's push feels hard to handle. A parent or other adult can step in when peer pressure gets too hard for a kid to handle. Parents stay a big influence on kids' values and choices, and your family's values can guide you. A grown-up you trust can help.

Words to know

• peers: people your age
• influence: a pull
• values: beliefs about right
• harmless: not hurting anyone
• embarrassed: shy and red-faced