Funny food for kids

One snack, another animal: the critter twists

Once a child has made a recipe, its card has a twist for next time: the same food on the same plate, built into a different animal. There are 13 so far:

• 🐞 Ladybug pizza, from English Muffin Pizza: Red sauce for the shell, spots of sliced olives from a can, and an olive head with cheese eyes.
• 🦁 Lion pizza, from English Muffin Pizza: Sprinkle a shaggy mane of grated cheddar round the edge, then give it two eyes and a nose.
• 👾 Monster pizza, from English Muffin Pizza: Give it three cheese eyes and a wiggly smile of pepper strips. The sillier, the better!
• 🐧 Banana penguins, from Banana Ghosts: Give each ghost a clementine-piece beak and two raisin flippers. Waddle, waddle!
• 🐛 Ghost caterpillar, from Banana Ghosts: Lay banana coins in a wiggly line and give the front one chocolate-chip eyes.
• 🐸 Froggy cups, from Frog Eye Salad: Top each cup with two green grape halves for frog eyes and a mandarin smile. Ribbit!
• 🐛 Caterpillar cups, from Frog Eye Salad: Line up five little cups in a curve, give the front one eyes, and it's a caterpillar!
• 🐸 Lily pad frog, from Chia Pudding: Sit two blueberries on the top edge of the kiwi lily pad for eyes. A frog is peeking out of the pond!
• 🐢 Pond turtle, from Chia Pudding: Make a pond turtle: a kiwi slice for its shell, one blueberry for a head and four blueberry feet.
• 🐰 Bunny toast, from Owl Toast: Two long banana ears up top, blueberry eyes and a strawberry nose. Hop, hop!
• 🦁 Lion toast, from Owl Toast: Ring the toast with clementine pieces for a mane, then add berry eyes and a nose.
• 🐧 Penguin toast, from Owl Toast: A white tummy of cream cheese, blueberry eyes, and a clementine beak and feet.
• 🦁 Rice cake lion, from Rice Cake Faces: Lay carrot sticks all the way round the edge for a mane, then add the face.

How to make any snack a critter

You don't need a recipe to make funny food. Four moves turn almost any snack into an animal:

1. Find the body. Round things are faces (toast, crackers, rice cakes, a pancake). Long things are bodies (celery, a banana, a cucumber, a tortilla rolled up). A half-circle is a shell (a kiwi slice, half an apple, a croissant).
2. Stick on two eyes. Two dots and it's alive. Blueberries, raisins, chocolate chips, or a dab of cream cheese with a raisin pressed in. Spread is the glue: cream cheese, seed or nut butter, yogurt or hummus.
3. Add the funny part. Pretzel-stick legs, apple-slice ears, a grape head, cucumber-coin spots, a strawberry nose. One silly detail is enough; eight legs is better.
4. Name it out loud. Animal plus food, said fast: Turtle Toast, Caterpillar Crunch, Bumblebee Bagel. Then make it move: walk it across the plate, give it a voice, and ask the big question: head first or tail first?

Let the child do the building, even when it comes out lopsided. A wobbly turtle is still a turtle, and the one they made is the one they want to try. Tasting is up to them: looking, touching and smelling count too.

How gross is too gross?

Kids love gross, and grown-ups have to eat at the same table. Our line: things kids find in the garden or the pond are fair game (ants, beetles, ladybugs, caterpillars, snails, spiders, frogs, worms, mud and swamp slime), because they're cute-gross. Anything that means dirt, bins or illness never goes near food, however much a seven-year-old begs. The spooky stuff waits for October, with the Halloween treats. And a goofy name is never a joke about a person or a body: the animal is the joke.

Funny food by age

• From age 5, no cooking: ants on a log, spider crackers, turkey veggie platter, ladybugs on a log, snail roll-ups, crab croissant, fruit caterpillar and kiwi turtles. A kindergartner can spread, press on eyes, line up grapes and count legs. The grown-up does the few cuts with a sharp knife.
• From age 5, with a grown-up at the toaster or oven: owl toast, teddy bear toast and turkey toast. The grown-up does the hot part, and the child builds the face.
• Ages 8 and up (3rd grade on): octopus hot dogs, owl pancakes and turkey cookies, where a grown-up works the stove or oven and the child measures, mixes, cuts with a butter knife and builds.

Safety notes for grown-ups

Every step with a sharp knife, the stove, the oven or the toaster is a grown-up's, whatever the child's age, and Crumb says so out loud before it. Butter knives and fingers do the rest. For brothers and sisters under 4, each recipe carries the choking notes for what's in it (AAP); across the Critter Kitchen they are:

• Raw celery is hard to chew for little ones under 4: cut it thin.
• Spread peanut butter thin for little ones: a big lump can choke.
• Raw carrot is hard and round-ish for little ones under 4: grate it or cook it soft.
• Round, slippery foods are a choking risk for little ones under 4: cut them in quarters.
• Cut grapes in half the long way for little ones under 4.
• Hard or chewy candy is a choking risk for little ones under 4: leave it off for them.
• Cut apple into thin slices for little ones under 4.
• Squash blueberries a little for little ones under 4.
• Cut hot dogs into thin strips the long way, never round coins, for little ones under 4.
• Fruit Caterpillar is built on sticks: take the food off before a little one eats it.

Allergy swaps

The critters use peanuts, milk, eggs, wheat and soy between them. Tap "Allergies?" on the Kitchen's front page and pick one, and each recipe fills in a swap where there is one: sunflower seed butter for peanut butter, gluten-free crackers for round crackers, sunflower seed butter for cream cheese, gluten-free pretzel sticks for pretzel sticks, oat yogurt for yogurt, gluten-free bread for bread, oat milk for milk and oil for butter. Eyes and legs are easy to change: raisins for chocolate chips, cucumber sticks for pretzels. Packet foods like round crackers, pretzel sticks, tortilla and candy eyes say "read the label" on every recipe. No critter is real, by the way: the crab croissant is a croissant, and the octopus is a hot dog.

Questions parents ask

What is funny food for kids?

Food built or named to make a child laugh: toast with an owl face, a sandwich that's a turtle, celery with ladybugs crawling on it. It's ordinary food (fruit, bread, cheese, vegetables) in a silly shape, and the child does most of the making.

What are fun snacks for kids to make?

The no-cook critters: ants on a log, spider crackers, turkey veggie platter, ladybugs on a log, snail roll-ups and crab croissant. Each takes 10 to 20 minutes, and a grown-up only steps in for a cut or two.

What cute snacks can a 5-year-old make?

Kiwi turtles, ants on a log and a fruit caterpillar are made almost entirely by small hands: pressing, spreading and lining things up. A grown-up does the few cuts with a sharp knife.

How do you make food look like animals?

Start with a shape (round for a face, long for a body), add two eyes, then one funny detail like legs, ears or a shell. There's more in how to make food look like animals.

Are the recipes free?

Yes. The Kitchen is free, with no ads and no sign-up, and nothing your child picks or makes is sent anywhere.

More from the Kitchen: the Kitchen itself, with every recipe, easy recipes for kids by age, the no-bake recipes, Thanksgiving recipes for kids, and the free library for a story while it chills.