Thinking you have to be perfect makes it hard to feel good about anything less. So it helps to accept your best. No one is perfect, so you do not have to be perfect to feel good about yourself. A mistake is part of trying. You can try again and keep getting better. Telling yourself you cannot do something YET reminds you that you can keep improving if you keep trying.

When you feel stuck on a hard thing, noticing what went well can help balance out what went wrong. Trying helps you learn, get better at things, and succeed. People who think abilities can grow tend to see effort as something that helps them learn. They see setbacks as chances to build new skills. Learning new things can build confidence, and kids with confidence try new things.

The things you say to yourself in your mind play a big part in how you feel about yourself. A way to check your self-talk is to ask whether you would say the same thing to a good friend. Treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is struggling is called self-compassion. It means being kind and understanding with yourself when you struggle or make a mistake, instead of harshly criticizing yourself.

Being kind to yourself is not a magic fix, but it can ease everyday difficulties. It is a better motivator than harsh self-criticism. Kids feel good when people notice how hard they tried and how much they have improved, not only whether they won. Praise feels real when it is honest and fits what happened. Setting a goal, making a plan, and tracking your progress can help you feel good about what you have done so far.

Being kind and helping other people can make you feel good. A kind act can be small, like sharing your lunch or giving someone a hug. Doing something kind for a classmate or at home, like a favor for a sibling, is a way to feel good about what you do. Saying thank you to someone is one small kind thing you can do, and it can help you feel good too.

In one study of kids ages 9 to 11, students who did kind acts for four weeks gained more in how much classmates accepted them than students who only listed pleasant places they visited. Kind acts can help classmates accept you. Being happy, kind and well liked tend to go together. In the Vancouver kindness experiment, both the students who did kind acts and the students who tracked pleasant places they visited said they felt happier.

Gratitude means noticing the good things in the world and the gifts you have received from others. Gratitude helps strengthen relationships, because it makes us notice how other people have supported us. Thinking of three good things that happened today, for example before bed, helps you notice more of the good in your life. You can do this at the end of a day.

Good friends are people you can be yourself with, and they help you feel OK about who you are. Good friends treat you well, and good friendships can help you feel you belong. Feeling good about yourself starts when you feel safe, loved and cared for by grown-ups. Kids who feel good about themselves have the confidence to try new things.

Getting enough sleep helps kids feel and behave better the next day. Enough sleep helps with how you feel, how you learn and how your brain grows. Kids aged 6 to 12 need about 9 to 12 hours of sleep each night, as of November 2026. A good sleep routine, with a regular bedtime, helps kids ease into a good night's sleep. Moving your body, like walking or running, can help lift your mood. A grown-up you trust can help.

Words to know

• perfect: without any mistakes
• motivator: something that pushes
• gratitude: thankful noticing
• experiment: a planned test