Self-esteem means feeling good about yourself. People with it feel liked and accepted, are proud of what they do, and believe in themselves. It comes from several places: the people around you, the voice in your own head, and learning to do things.

In one study, fifth graders praised for being smart did worse after failing than those praised for effort or not praised. They were more likely to blame things other than ability. Kids feel good when people notice how hard they tried and how much they have improved, not only whether they won. Praise feels real when it is honest and fits what happened.

People who think abilities can grow tend to see effort as something that helps them learn. They see setbacks as chances to build new skills, while a fixed mindset can lead people to avoid challenges, because they think that having to work hard or making mistakes means they are not able. A Michigan State University study of 25 college students found that those with a growth mindset showed stronger brain responses to their own mistakes. That response went with doing better right afterward. It suggests growth-mindset students processed mistakes more deeply and corrected them right away. The growth mindset lessons use a metaphor: the brain is like a muscle that grows stronger and smarter when it does rigorous learning.

Over four weeks, 9- to 11-year-olds in 19 Vancouver classrooms were asked to do three acts of kindness each week. Others were asked to visit three places each week. Students who did kind acts gained more in how much classmates accepted them, and both groups said they felt happier. Being kind and helping other people can make you feel good. Being happy, kind and well liked tend to go together.

Gratitude means noticing the good things in the world and the gifts you have received from others. It has two parts: noticing that there is goodness in the world, and recognizing that its sources are outside ourselves, in other people. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. In a 10-week study, people who wrote each week about things they were grateful for were more optimistic and felt better about their lives than people who wrote about daily irritations. Psychologist Martin Seligman tested positive activities on 411 people. Writing and delivering a gratitude letter to someone who was never properly thanked brought a big, immediate rise in happiness scores that lasted about a month.

Self-compassion means being kind and understanding with yourself when you struggle or make a mistake. It is the opposite of harshly criticizing yourself. A researcher named Kristin Neff defines it as three parts: treating yourself with kindness rather than judgment, being mindful of your own painful feelings, and understanding that suffering is part of being human. When we struggle or make mistakes we often feel alone, as if we were the only one. That is common humanity: struggling is part of being human. Being kind to yourself is not a magic fix, but it can ease everyday difficulties.

Some teens worry that being kind to themselves will take away their motivation to do their schoolwork. Being kind to yourself is a better motivator than harsh self-criticism. The things you say to yourself in your mind play a big part in how you feel about yourself. A way to check your self-talk is to ask whether you would say the same thing to a good friend. For a few days, write down what you say to yourself, then rewrite the harsh lines the way you would say them to a good friend.

Sleep affects alertness, attention, mood, resilience, and learning and memory in children, and research links it with happiness too. Regular sleep loss often leads to irritability and difficulty concentrating, and teens need more sleep, not less. Kids aged 6 to 12 need about 9 to 12 hours of sleep each night, as of November 2026. Getting enough sleep helps kids feel and behave better the next day.

Experts recommend that children and teens ages 6 through 17 get 60 minutes or more of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity daily, as of November 2026. Moving, like walking or running, can help lift your mood.

Good friends are people you can be yourself with, and they help you feel OK about who you are. Good friends treat you well, and good friendships can help you feel you belong. Kids need chances to learn, try and feel proud of what they can do. The capabilities that underlie resilience can be strengthened at any age. Feeling good about yourself starts when you feel safe, loved and cared for by grown-ups. A grown-up you trust can help.

Words to know

• mindset: way of thinking
• gratitude: thankful noticing
• optimistic: hopeful
• resilience: bouncing back
• irritability: easy annoyance