Friends are people you have fun with. They can be found almost anywhere people gather: at school, on a team or in a club. Making friends is not a magic trick. It is something people learn, and it gets easier with practice.

A friendship can start small. One way to begin is to say hello, smile and be friendly. A kind compliment is also a friendly way to start talking to someone. Then friends like to talk about their favorite things, so asking someone what they like to do keeps a conversation going. These are small, easy first steps.

Sometimes other children are already playing a game. Before joining in, it helps to watch for a moment what the other kids are doing. Then you can ask if you can sit with them or play with them. The answer may be no. If someone does not want to play or be friends right now, that is okay. You can find something else to do, and there will be other chances.

A shared interest is an easy way to start. When two people like the same things, they have more to talk about. School clubs, sports teams and music groups are good places to meet friends. Clubs built around a shared interest give people something to do together, which makes it easier to talk and bond. Talking about something you both enjoy is a friendly way to begin.

Feeling nervous or shy around new people is common, especially when you are not sure what to do. Taking small steps, one at a time, helps a person feel more comfortable. Being quiet is not always the same as being shy. Some children are quick to join in, and others take more time to warm up to new people and places.

To have a friend, be one. Being a good friend matters as much as having good friends. Good friends listen to each other, take turns and share.

A good friend can cheer you up when you feel sad. Kind matters even more than liking the same things.

Friendship takes time together, and you cannot make one in an instant. Most children need only one or two good friends, not a crowd. Friends sometimes disagree or get angry with each other, and talking about feelings helps.

Lonely feelings fade when a person finds a way to connect. Joining a group or activity they like can help. A parent, teacher or other trusted grown-up can help you decide whether someone might make a good friend. You do not have to work it out alone. Whenever making friends feels hard, a grown-up you trust can help.

Words to know

• compliment: kind remark
• shy: nervous
• interest: liked thing
• cheer: lift spirits

The short version

Friends are people you have fun with, and they can be found almost anywhere people gather. A good way to start is to say hello, smile and be friendly. Making friends is something people learn, and it gets easier with practice.

Quick facts

• A way to start a friendship is to say hello, smile and be friendly.
• Most children need only one or two good friends, not a crowd.
• School clubs, sports teams and music groups are good places to meet friends.
• Making friends takes time together; you cannot make one in an instant.
• A parent, teacher or other trusted grown-up can help a child who finds it hard to make friends.